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Old Paradians Monthly Lunch: View Response #17

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Sox says:
December 16, 2010 at 5:21 pm
terre,
In the U.S. at least, 18 by age 30 is probably the norm by now, despite poll results saying otherwise because I simply don’t trust them. Anyway, thanks for the support. And you may actually be right…but compared to some of the girls I run into now who are that age, she was not nearly as bad and learned MUCH quicker than her younger peers seem to now. All things considered, I’m actually saying that I would’ve taken her with those flaws over the crap I see in people lately.

terre says:
December 16, 2010 at 5:34 pm
“In the U.S. at least, 18 by age 30 is probably the norm by now, despite poll results saying otherwise because I simply don’t trust them.”

My problem with the “It’s relatively not so bad/high” argument is twofold: a) it encourages ever looser and more lax standards, exacerbating the issue and b) women’s relative behavior doesn’t diminish the negative effects of any one girl’s past in terms of a relationship with a man. It’s true that she might be normal by American standards, but that just makes me pour one out for the men intending to marry abnormal girls.

tom says:
December 16, 2010 at 5:37 pm
I think there is a big diffeence between the value of casual sex and relationtion sex

Susan Walsh says:
December 16, 2010 at 11:45 pm
@tom
The Marriage Project, university based, is not “bent” on any particular ideology. Nice try. As I explained in my comment, a man who is lied to about his wife’s sexual history is a victim. The truth has been stolen from him, a truth that might have influenced his decision to marry. Women are free to make choices about their sexual lives, but they should be prepared to defend them, not hide them, regardless of male attitudes. If women know that most men don’t want to marry sluts, and they choose to be sluts, they don’t get to feign chastity to snag a partner. You keep mentioning hypothetical husbands who never asked. Come on, that’s got to be unusual. Perhaps just the 5-10% of men who truly don’t care. In which case, no lies need to be told. I truly don’t understand what you’re trying to accomplish here. You’re certainly not going to succeed in “re-educating” men on this issue. More power to you, but I can honestly say in the two years of writing this blog, you are only the third male to espouse this view, and the first one who didn’t identify as queer.

Date

6/08/2009 
Created at 6/08/2009 2:35 AM  by Tony Ryan 
Last modified at 14/10/2022 2:20 AM  by